Milktart

Dairy… It’s a love hate relationship for me. I love it, it hates me. In fact, I think it love-hates me, and can’t actually make up its mind. Either way, I am of the moderately informed opinion that dairy isn’t really ideal for human consumption at all, but chances are, unless you are hugely intolerant/allergic to the stuff, you won’t really care about a little bit of discomfort for the sake of the dairy!

Take, for example, the classic South African Milktart: 71% milk (excluding the crust, which can be omitted for the grain/gluten-free). I could honestly eat the whole thing. And yes, I would over-dramatically hate my life afterwards, and yes, I will possibly go into some form of hyperglycemic shock (from the 12 teaspoons of sugar), and yes, I would insist on running 10km every day for the next month, to try work it off and make myself feel less guilty for the gluttony, but this little local tart can be so worth it… (I say this as if I haven’t eaten a whole milk tart by myself before… This is a judgment free space people!)

I’ve been on a quest to find a recipe that doesn’t involve either condensed milk or custard powder. This one fails in that quest, but succeeds in every other tasty way. Of course, my search will continue, and many milktarts will be quality tested on the way, so it can’t be all that bad.

Milktart

Ingredients

• 2 eggs
• 10ml flour
• 10ml custard powder
• 20ml cornflour
• 60ml sugar
• Pinch of salt
• 5ml vanilla essence
• 565ml milk
• 30g butter
• 1 baked pastry case or biscuit crust
• A little cinnamon

Method:

1. Beat the eggs, then add the dry ingredients (flour, custard powder, cornflour, sugar and salt) and vanilla, and beat well
2. Heat milk and butter until just boiling, then turn down to a slight simmer and gradually add the egg mixture, stirring constantly. Make sure not to let anything stick to the bottom of the pot.
3. Cook, stirring continuously, until mixture thickens
4. Pour mixture it a pie shell (biscuit crust or pre-baked), and sprinkle with cinnamon
5. Leave to cool (or scald your tongue on the better version of warm homemade custard)

Courtney’s Gran’s Fudge

Nothing compares to a good fudge recipe – one that doesn’t crack and crumble and break your teeth, but also one that is so soft that it practically didn’t set. No, there has to be the perfect balance of stability and melt in your mouth softness. And this old family recipe gets that just right.

This is one of those “handwritten-in-pencil-and-covered-in-coffee-stains-and-who-knows-what-else-from-the-kitchen” recipes. I got it from my bestie’s grandmother’s recipe book. It was the treat she would bring to school for those of us who are lucky to be her friend. She doesn’t make me fudge anymore, but I am still blessed beyond measure that I still get to count her as one of my closest. I promise not all my relationships are based on whether or not you feed me. It is a factor though…

Gran’s Fudge

Ingredients

• 1 large can of condensed milk
• 400g sugar
• 35ml golden syrup
• 75ml water
• 60g butter
• 5ml vanilla essence

Method:

1. Put sugar and water into a heavy saucepan. Stir over low heat until dissolved
2. Add butter and syrup, stir until melted
3. Pour in the condensed milk and stir until boiling
4. Simmer slowly for 20-25 minutes, stirring continuously
5. Remove from stove and stir in the vanilla essence
6. Pour into a greased pan. Leave to cool. Cut into squares

Frozen Coconut Ice – only 4 ingredients!

Do you want to build a snowman?

Or make a batch of icy treats?

I think some sugar here is overdue,

I’m talking to,

The banters who hate sweets!

Once upon a time we convinced ourselves that coconut was good for us, and that it fits perfectly into the low-carb:high-fat eating regime (which it kinda does, by the way). I have taken this useful information, and placed it in a far more practical application – the beauty and simplicity that is coconut ice. All your good fats, in one beautiful place.

And if you think there is too much sugar in this recipe (which there is, by the way), you can just Let It Go… Let it go, smile as you watch your tummy grow! Just kidding. Any treat can be enjoyed in moderation. In this case, moderation means one nibble per month, followed by at least a 21.1km half marathon.

Totally worth it…

Frozen Coconut Ice

Ingredients

• 1 can of condensed milk (400g)
• 500g icing sugar
• 400g desiccated coconut
• Food colouring of choice – in the case of Frozen, you may want to use blue

Method

1. Mix the condensed milk, coconut and icing sugar together until well-combined and consistent throughout
2. Divide the mixture in half and colour the one half to the desired colour
3. Press the white half of the mixture into a lined pan, such as a brownie pan, and compress down
4. Repeat with the other half for the second layer, ensuring it is smooth and even
5. Can be enjoyed straight away, cut into squares or other desired shape, and it lasts well (which is great because it can get very sweet)